"You are the One, Harry," Morpheus said.
Harry sat back in his chair, head reeling. "So," he said, "after I've risked certain death countless times in order to defeat Voldemort, overthrow the Emperor, and destroy the One Ring, you come along and tell me that none of that was even real?"
"That's right," Morpheus said.
"So now I've got to save everybody again."
"That's right."
"Fuck that," Harry said and reached for the blue pill.
"Oh, but in the real world, Harry--"
Harry stopped. "What?"
"In the real world, you'll get to have sex."
And Harry took the red pill.
FINIS
*shriek* AHAHAHA. You're brilliant, Harloprillar!