"OK, Alex, do you have your theme song ready?"
Krycek nodded and cleared his throat.
"Stand up, stand up."
He stood and began to sing. He was pretty good, actually. He started to get right into it, closing his eyes and feeling the music.
"Stop! Stop!" Tracey waved him back to the couch. "Your theme song sucks."
"You don't like my singing?"
"Your singing is fine. But I don't think we're going to be able to work through your guilt over being an assassin, terrorist, double agent, spy, and treasonous rat bastard if you have 'Criminal Mind' for a theme song." She leaned forward in her chair. "Trust me on this one."
Krycek smiled in charming perplexity. "But I don't feel any guilt. My professional life is going really well. I thought we could work on my personal life. My love life."
Tracey consulted her notes. "Sorry, had you confused with my last patient. What's the matter with your love life?"
"Whenever I meet someone I really, really like, I end up having to kill one of their relatives or torture them or something. And they don't seem to understand that that's just my work. I think we could keep our professional and personal relationships separate, but no one ever seems to see it that way."
"Well, it's just a suggestion, but have you ever tried meeting people outside of your job?"
"No." Krycek felt like a light bulb had just gone on over his head. "That's a good idea."
Tracey took off her glasses. "One more thing: do you experience any auditory or visual hallucinations? You know, voices in your head, dancing babies, aliens?"
"No, none of that." Dancing babies? "I've seen aliens, of course, but real ones."
"The Great Gazoo, no doubt," Tracey muttered. "Dumb-dumb." She frowned. "But you still need a better theme song. Something with zest. With verve. Something related to your goals. Next week, have one." She stood and Krycek realised his session was over.
On his way through the reception area, he saw a man sitting there, obviously waiting for his appointment. A small man, sandy haired, pressing his lips together and bobbing a little to something only he could hear. No time like the present to try out Tracey's advice. Krycek walked over and sat down in the next chair, letting his shoulder brush against the man's. "Dr. Tracey is really good, isn't she?"
The man didn't reply, just smiled broadly. Krycek put a hand on one nervous shoulder. "I'm Alex. Maybe I'll see you here again sometime."
The man still didn't look at him, just stared straight ahead and murmured something that sounded like "Parsip--Parsip--Parsippany." Then the office door opened and he escaped inside.
What a delicious little morsel, Krycek thought. Maybe I'll sit right here to think about my theme song.
No doubt about it, Tracey was going to help him get things turned around. He made a mental note to give her number to Frank.
FINIS