One day Agent Scully had to babysit her nephew, the one who she had to babysit that other time when they watched Babe. Scully liked watching Babe; it was a really good movie. She figured this time they'd watch Mulan or something.
Scully's nephew had other ideas. He wanted to watch Barney. So Scully said OK because she didn't want him to have a temper tantrum like he did when she wouldn't let him have a shot of her vodka.
"Vodka is not for kids," she had said. And then he had a tantrum. So she had another shot herself, to help her deal with it.
But today she was out of vodka, so she just let him do anything he wanted. Which was watch Barney. They watched the video twelve times. After six or seven viewings, Scully began to really notice the love and caring that all the characters had for each other, and how easily they expressed it. She had a problem in that area, so she was hoping to get some good ideas.
You see, Agent Scully was secretly in love with her partner, Agent Mulder. Of course she didn't love him for his dark good looks or lanky frame or genius brain or obsessive personality. She loved him because she never actually got to meet anyone else, so she had imprinted on him. She yearned for him constantly. But she never knew how to say what she felt.
On the tenth viewing, Scully had a really good idea. Instead of trying to tell Mulder about her love for him, she could just show him the video. He would immediately understand. And then, she hoped, he would love her in return. So when Scully's nephew's parent picked him up, Scully kept the video. Then she bought some vodka.
Scully drove over to Mulder's apartment, the vodka and the video in a bag. In the lobby she took several drinks right from the bottle. Then she went and knocked on Mulder's door.
He let her in. He was surprised to see her. "Scully, what are you doing here?" he said.
"I had to come and show you this video," Scully replied. "I didn't know how else to tell you. Just watch it." She handed the tape to Mulder, who took it into the living room. Scully took another quick drink before she went in.
Mulder put the video in the VCR and sat down on his leather couch. Scully sat beside him, not too close but not too far away either. They watched the whole tape together. It was twenty minutes long. Scully hoped and hoped that her message of love for Mulder would get through.
When the tape finished, Scully turned to Mulder. "Do you understand what I was trying to say, Mulder?" She was blushing and nervous.
Mulder looked at Scully, love and pain in his eyes. "I think I do," he said.
And then he took out his gun and shot them both.